don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
