Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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