why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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