So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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