your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
