very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need to calm my uterus...
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