you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How does one acquire holy water?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
