I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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