watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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