Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
