i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
