I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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