Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
