I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
