I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
