I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think I just sharted jello shots
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
