Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
