Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
