you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
