My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
