Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
