It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
