dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
