Me too!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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