I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
