i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize