I smell stomach acid.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
