I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think my moral compass just broke
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
