WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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