i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
