I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
