Don't you send me to vm
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
