I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
