Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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