and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
