I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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