we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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