So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize