I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
