roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
