Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
