why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
