I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
