ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
