Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
