im drinking this country out of the recession.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
