Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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