Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
