I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
