just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
