Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
