The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
