so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
