I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
