im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
