i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
