I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
