it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
