Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
