He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
And then he peed in my hair
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