Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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