dude i'm inner monologue high
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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