The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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