Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
