At least make sure they are 18
Why
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
