But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
