So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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